The problem with prickly people (and what to do about them!)

Dealing with prickly people could as just as easily be called, dealing with narcissists! 

Who comes to mind when you think of prickly people? A friend, boss, parent, or colleague? They’re the people who are just difficult to be around. They can bully, intimidate, and reduce you to tears in moments. Developing coping strategies is helpful, but not always effective.

Being pricked by their thorns hurts and these people are great at getting under your skin. Beware, these folks are often close to you. You may have long-standing relationships and deep loyalty that results in you explaining their behaviour away.

Their prick hurts and if you keep ignoring the issue, in the long run, matters will get worse. They crank up the nastiness (due to poor boundaries) and the next thing you know, they feel exceptionally comfortable publicly humiliating you

So, let’s look for the top ten tell-tale signs of prickly people:

1. They like a pedestal and have a great sense of self-importance
2. They do high conflict situations very well
3. They can be exceptionally nice and switch on you in a moment
4. They project their problems onto others
5. They ask great self-enquiring questions, e.g., ‘why can’t I open up to you’? which will get an empath thinking and self-analysing
6. Interestingly, they can’t handle self-enquiring questions because they don’t self-reflect
7. You may tip-toe around them, their mood is volatile and there is repressed rage underneath
8. They want you to be attentive to their whims and desires
9. Their niceness can overshadow the darkness, but don’t be fooled. Often the niceness is compensation for the awfulness.
10. They can be better managed in crowds, 121s can be intense.

I cannot make your prickly person go away and I have learned from difficult personal experiences that coping strategies have a limited shelf life. Plus, when you try to create distance, they sense you’re pulling away and exert themselves further or get more furious so please watch out for their rage.

Often because of number 6 above, they don’t self-reflect, it’s pointless having a heart to heart, as they just won’t get it and they’re likely to flip on you. Getting them out of your life is best, but not always possible. The problem with prickly people (and what to do about them!) Dealing with narcissists can be exhausting in every way.

My number one piece of advice, is to discern whether you can have a truthful conversation, and ask yourself 'Is this relationship worth saving'?

Keeley Taverner Tweet

You can employ the 3 following coping strategies, but be warned, these are only short time solutions and won’t keep you safe forever.

1. Be compliant and agreeable
2. When they say jump, you say, how high?
3. Make it all about them, feed their ego, keep them sweet

Sadly, all the 3 answers will have a detrimental impact on your wellness in the long run. But you know that already, right? Short term gain, long term pain is what we’re setting ourselves up for here. But, for so many of us, we cope with difficult people like this every day.

If you’re tired of being tired and need extra support when it comes to dealing with narcissists**, let’s talk. You’re not alone.**