HAS ANYONE EVER DEFENDED YOU?
Can you recall a time when someone stood up for you?
Or where you left publicly humiliated, exposed and vulnerable while others watched?
Watch the uncensored moment Will Smith smacks Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars, and drops the F-bomb.
Personally, I grew up as a non-defended child. I can recall traumatic situations in my childhood where no one defended me, no one stood up for me and I was left publicly exposed, vulnerable and humiliated.
Over time, I learned I was of little worth and value. It didn’t matter and my experiences confirmed my reality. In time, feelings of low self-worth became deeply embedded and polluted all aspects of my life from education, career ambitions and what I believed I was worthy of. Taking compliments was painful and being praised made me question someone’s intentions. I was that invisible child.
By the time adulthood hit, my intimate relationships mirrored my low self-worth and abuse became a natural progression.
Will Smith’s slapping of Chris Rock moved me and surprisingly, I found myself tearing up. This morning, I pondered on my reaction, and know that a strong reaction often means personal pain.
Will Smith's slapping of Chris Rock moved me and surprisingly, I found myself tearing up. This morning, I pondered on my reaction, and know that a strong reaction often means personal pain.
Keeley Taverner Tweet
Was Will right or was he wrong? The world will decide.
All I can say is, as a non defended, invisible child – I have a bias. A bias steeped in personal history and pain. Having someone stand up for me, who honours me and defends me is rare and deeply moving.
So while the debate rages on, a deeper question arises that I want to ask you…
Were you a non-defended child?
Did anyone ever stand up or advocate for you?
Or like me, were you left ridiculed, exposed and humiliated?
If these questions resonate with you, it’s likely that many of your adult life challenges have deep roots in your past. Exploring these 3 questions will offer some important insights into the roots of your low self-esteem and shed some light on unhelpful deep-rooted toxic beliefs.
If you want to know more or start the journey of self-discovery, let’s talk. Your future self will be so glad you did.