empaths struggle to put themselves first
The more I journey with highly empathic people is the more I come to realise, how tricky it is for them to put themselves first.
Feelings of guilt and selfishness often occur when it comes to being self-indulgent and there can be resistance when it comes to spending money exclusively on the self. Yet, rather interestingly, empaths can say yes to others without giving it a second thought and can often end up paying heavily in time, money and emotional energy.
As the years go by, I see the many creative ways empathic people say no to themselves and I often wonder if it’s a disguised/unconscious form of self-neglect?
Your dreams and a new life awaits you... if you can get out of your own way.
Keeley Taverner Tweet
WAYS IN WHICH EMPATHIC PEOPLE EXCUSE INVESTING IN THEMSELVES
- I can't afford it. Stonewalled. No way forward. No thought of options. Not solution focussed.
- I don't have the time. AKA doesn't want to make time.
- I'll book a single session. A single session is mainly fact-finding. What does someone really aim to understand in a single session?
- Key, let me know when the next course is.... This one is the avoidance and delay tactic.
- I feel guilty spending on me. Translates to I am uncomfortable putting self first.
- I need to ask Sandra, Bob, Jim and Jane what they think. A need for permission giving/self-sabotage.
- I'll sign up tomorrow. I'm never quite sure whom this promise is for!
- Key, your prices are too expensive for me. This is them telling themselves that they are not worth investing in.
- I'll go to my Doctor first and get back to you. Well, good luck! I hope you get a passionate therapist. I wish you well, after all, your tax has funded it. If you need Key, you know where to find me!
I really have heard it all over the years, and one thing I can say, is you never lose when you invest in yourself. As you may well know, I didn’t go from an IKEA checkout cashier to Director, homeowner and psychotherapist by waiting for others to invest in me. I took my tax credits, child benefit and wages. I ploughed that money into developing myself to defy stereotypes, overcome low expectations, and change the odds of a girl raised on a West London council estate.
I have never lost when I have invested in myself. Today, I live an abundantly good life with purpose and meaning, I have a few trusted friends, a 20-year-old car and I love myself. I dread to think what would have happened to me if I said no to taking a chance on me.
So what really stops you?
If you would like to attend The Empaths Self-Protection Course and have been blocked by any of the 9 statements above, send me an email and let’s start a conversation.
Your dreams and a new life awaits you… if you can get out of your own way.